So You Make Meaning from Memory
Using physical acts to divine truths
My fingers grazed the already rubbed-off keys of my laptop, furiously typing, attempting to arrive at an end—a wisdom wrapped deeply inside of me, tips of fingers connected to my inner being. Somehow my central nervous system would allow me to divine truth from the physical act of pushing gently on the keyboard.
I always thought writing was an act of seeking truths about living, usually deciphering through stories. The same can be said of drawing and creating art generally.
There is a physical act of expression that opens up energy in the creator and communicates something to her audience. It is an act of uncovering oneself. It is an act of reaching beyond half-truths to your quintessence to mirror your soul, to reflect your being, to chase your truth.
Searching for meaning has always been a physical act for humans.
Cave wall renderings by fire and inkwell scribblings by candle come from the same space in the human imagination that uses story to drive or catalog existence.
They both require the body to tap into something from the mind and perhaps create some derivative of that in a physical form. And people interpret what results based on their own life experiences and insights.
These writings are my attempt to dig—using story to get at the essence. Movement and memory are depicted and explored. I think they help in thge search for meaning.
Thank you for adding to that reflection and being on this journey with me.
I used so in this title as a salute to Zora Neale Hurston. In a book review on a posthumously released collection of ZNH’s essays, Lauren Michele Jackson offers this insight about the author:
But Hurston writes, in “Characteristics of Negro Expression,” that “in story telling ‘so’ is universally the connective,” a distinct feature of Black storytelling. The word’s colloquial feel camouflages the authority of its teller, and for Hurston becomes a means of privileging her own conclusions before a reader has the chance of surmising the terms of debate: “So the Negro begins feeling with his fingers to find himself in the plastic arts”; “So this Russian philosophy does not take with us.” Idiom, which we might paraphrase as Hurston’s version of a culturally conscious style, is not to be confused with dialect. Dialect is the stuff of vaudeville, “full of ‘ams’ and ‘Ises,’ ” as Hurston puts it. The bad music of dialect grates because it is untruthful and, as Hurston writes in the title essay, lives only a portion of its life on the minstrel stage.
Here I used “so” in the title to privilege my conclusion (salute to Zora Neale Hurston) that we make meaning from memory and that this process of intellectual and emotional understanding largely comes from physical acts.
In that same spirit of reflection…
Today is the last day of school for us. All slaps aside, this is what I think of when I think of a summer kick-off.
This was a proper week to begin summer.
My eldest was in a talent show (his first) with his good friend, and they created an original friendship song. It was as beautiful as it sounds. I was/am very proud.
We also saw Across the Spiderverse, and the littles got lots of ideas about the work they want to put out into the world and how I can help them do that. It was really fun and funny to have a creative brainstorming session with my children. I will share as we create.
In preparing for the ensuing summer madness, I gave a lot of thought to my kids’ summer activities and projects. Building space, skills, and direction for them guides them and creates space for me as well.
This process has made me look with an eye toward the Futures/futures I’m creating. We sometimes get so focused on the “Capital F” future that we neglect the small ways we build the “lowercase f” future with today’s wisdoms, anxieties, and pragmatism. Today’s small steps seed our futures and later serve us in ways that we don’t see possibility in now. And (perhaps with the multi-verse movie in mind) there are parallel futures we create and paths we don’t take, that are just outside of our reach. All it takes is a dimension glitch to snap us there.
Sometimes we can create our own dimension glitches.
Sometimes what you want is closer than you think.
I’m really sitting with this lately. What I truly desire, I must consistently make space for now. Even if it is a sliver of space.
It will disperse rewards for me later so that I might revel in the magic I made.
One way I’m building for tomorrow is by creating small bets. I joined the Small Bets community
and I’m learning a lot and meeting really smart and interesting people. I discovered that I want to explore several different ideas/jump down a couple different rabbit holes, so I’m building a portfolio of newsletters to help me chase curiosity and meaning and to craft the writing career I want. I believe this will give me more possibilities (this is me creating my own glitches). I’ll share more about this in the coming weeks.This week was also cool because I got to meet IRL for the first time with an internet friend, Cam Houser
.
Eating dark chocolate cake and drinking ginger tea and coffee with Cam was as much an act of kinetic energy transference as it was a pleasure.
Cam is a brilliant, modest strategist, and just speaking with him helped me see other considerations that were just outside the realm of possibility of things that I’d considered. We reflected on our journeys to now, got to know each other better, and talked more about what we are building.
Cam also reminded me of a few more stories I have to tell. There is magic in divining meaning from memory and also in meeting friends in person.
What I’m reading:
Juneteenth: This thoughtful and well-researched essay on the history of Juneteenth and its attendant celebrations by historian Teniel Joseph in Texas Monthly. Joseph beautifully says of the now federal holiday:
Our telling of American history has for far too long leaned toward the romantic when it could have benefited from the prosaic. And though we should not gloss over the ugliest truths, progress is also real and should be celebrated. One of Juneteenth’s most important lessons is that history is about not just the country’s triumphs but more often the relentless struggle necessary to achieve a more perfect union.
This ideal is profoundly evident in the stories of individuals whose lives feature both grotesque instances of violence and sublime moments of love. Their memories encapsulate the nation’s arduous journey out of slavery toward a freedom we are still fighting to realize. Their undaunted faith in an expansive vision of dignity and citizenship should ennoble and inspire us all.
Joseph’s article also gave me another reference to a book I’ll be picking up, On Juneteenth, by Annette Gordon-Reed.
I discovered this gem of an article from Philip Lewis’s newsletter.
This week’s issue of Lewis’s newsletter has powerful articles in the What I’m Reading section, current happenings in the News section, and a Tiny Desk I’m excited to see in the What’s Happening section (spoiler alert: Juvenile, Mannie Fresh, Jon Batiste and Trombone Shorty). It’s supposed to be live in the next couple weeks according to Lewis.
I’m re-reading Cashing Out by Julien and Kiersten Saunders, the couple at Rich & Regular. What I love about this book is twofold: it is in the vein of personal finance books that I like, that discuss financial independence as an eventuality through practical investment in index funds over time.
Perhaps what I love more is its reflection on how to create financial independence as Black folks who have been repeatedly taught by our well-meaning parents, grandparents, and loving family members to outwork everyone.
And you can’t fault them.
Despite meaningful progress though, workplace discrimination including disparity in promotions, negative impressions on coworkers and managers, managing impressions, underrepresentation in high-growth sectors, bias in hiring and promoting, etc. exist and have the unfortunate outcome of affecting Black bottom lines.
Some Black employees participated in the Great Resignation because of the aforementioned, but the Saunders’ encourage that despite all of these real and present factors, a personal finance plan in the long run can still create positive net outcomes for building Black generational wealth.
Without a serious personal strategy to leverage work, and independent experiments like side hustles, consulting, etc. outworking everybody is not a sustainable strategy.
But focused energy and a plan can eventually win the day. At least I’m betting on that too.
I hope that you have a restful and safe weekend, and that you have the opportunity to make and uncover meaning wherever you are.
Happy Juneteenth/Freedom Day!
Ayyyy, thanks for the shoutout! Awesome meeting ya Dekera
"Today’s small steps seed our futures and later serve us in ways that we don’t see possibility in now." So true, I love this.
And yay, I'm in Small Bets too!