“If writers were too wise, perhaps no books would be written at all. It might be better to ask yourself “Why?” afterwards than before. Anyway the force from somewhere in Space which commands you to write in the first place, gives you no choice. You take up the pen when you are told, and write what is commanded. There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside you.” - Zora Neale Hurston
Hello again!
It’s been a while, and I’m glad to be in touch with you. I’m Dekera, and I reflect here on the human experience through the lens of Blackness.
I last wrote you in November two weeks before my dear grandmother’s passing. I’d stopped writing publicly for a while, as I was grieving and processing her death, and death generally.
In this time, I’ve been reflecting on what and how I want to write. That is to say, that the tenor of these communications will be more like letters to friends—not just essays. These epistles will focus on three parts—what I’m contemplating, what I’m reading, and what I’m writing.
I hope this will leave room for robust conversation between and among us, and I truly look forward to that. Growth, thinking, and writing, all come from conversation—brief and deep— and leads to greater understanding of ourselves and this world.
Right now, this is what I’m turning over:
What I’m contemplating
Since losing Grandma, I’ve been thinking a lot about what I want my legacy to be—as a mother, as a human, and as a writer, and how all those things take shape now. My legacy is a book—it’s pages full with what I do and say, how I engage with others and the world, and what comes back as a result…or not. Fragments of my life’s interactions are in the margins of these pages. These experiences take up space and when stapled together and reviewed later through distance and the benefit of time, informs my growth and understanding.
I’m especially aware of legacy when it comes to my children—not just what I leave them when I’m gone, but specifically all of the memories we create together now. These will be a comfort to them when I’m no longer here. It really makes me honest about what I want my present to look like, and what needs to shift to make this happen. I’m working on this every day.
At times I say “I don’t have time,” or “let’s do this later.” I have to stop in each of those moments and really ask myself if that’s true. Lately, I’ve been blowing more bubbles, playing more Kirby on Nintendo Switch and listening to more jokes from their age-based Christmas gift joke books. Happily!
What I’m reading
I used to try to contain myself, but like a well-read cephalopod I’m up to my appendages in books. I’m in the middle of several, and have stopped for days/weeks/even months with some. Some I repeat (to make sure I get the lesson!) before picking up and completing others.
My reading is most reflective of the moment—if I’m really sitting with, learning from, or going through something, you can bet it’s reflected in my reading list.
Four of the books I’m currently engaged with are: the novel Daddy Was a Number Runner by Louise Meriwether, the related (in subject matter) biographical The World According to Fannie Davis: My Mother’s Life in the Detroit Numbers by Bridgett M. Davis, Slum Wolf by Tadao Tsuge, and Cashing Out by Julien and Kiersten Saunders.
I read this article about Louise Meriweather and meant to pick up Daddy Was a Number Runner in 2021, but my body was making a baby, and so many other things slipped through the cracks. I picked it up at the beginning of this year, and also grabbed the Fannie Davis book too. I’m always intrigued with the bread crumbs process I often follow to get to books. The journey there is sometimes as meaningful as the books themselves. It’s a process of discovery.
I’ll write something about these two books next month.
I read a bunch of Yoshiharu Tsuge books last year, as a ramp up to a Comics Drawing course I was taking, and bookmarked his brother, Tadao Tsuge’s books to read at a later date. I started Slum Wolf last fall and recently picked it up again.
Graphic storytelling is an intricate business. Lines sometimes convey what we want to say more impactfully than prose. This medium really allows one to study story fluidly as it unfolds. You’re at once engaged by the telling and somewhere above yourself, following along and taking notes.
With his impeccable line work, Tsuge’s Slum Wolf pushes readers to the edge of grit dusted with magical realism. Life moves at a frenetic pace and the people in this consatntly shifting reality make the most of their circumstances.
I found Cashing Out through the book Financial Freedom, which I found through The Simple Path to Wealth after reading the Psychology of Money, and before that I Will Teach You To Be Rich. This deep dive was a welcoming lead back to the FIRE movement, and how the landscape has shifted in the past few years thanks especially to the people of color who found their way to it.
Black FIRE proponents inject practical and useful information into their personal finance discussions, and layer them with larger discussions about family and personal histories that connect us to the history of this country and the world. Chattel slavery and its centuries-long denial of property in personhood prompts larger conversations about freedom, wealth accumumulation, and financial independence in community. Aggregated, compounding Black capital is a healing modality or at the very least a down payment towards freedom. What gets exchanged for the currency begs the question of whether it can truly be healing.
It’s refreshing to see personal finance discussions that don’t presume financial disconnection beyond the nuclear family. For Black families especially, this is not true. When we began acquiring land post-slavery, collective purchase made ownership possible.
Cashing Out is a personal finance book rooted in the ethos of FIRE, but it critiques racialized capitalism from a macro perspective, and asks you to really think about what financial independence looks like for you—even if you continue to work! In the context of traditional FIRE, that’s revolutionary.
Especially in the context of legacy, creating choices that grant time—quality and intentionality—underscore FIRE as an attractive possibility. I’m really interested in this aspect of personal finance.
What I’m writing
I’m writing and proposing articles around this aspect of personal finance—Black agency through tools and ideas like FIRE.
I’m also writing about Black entrepreneurism and community self-determination.
I have an article coming soon about talking to my children about death.
Culture, capital, history, and family are some recurrent themes in my writing and reflections, currently.
What are you writing, reading and contemplating?
Let me know!
Glad to see you back on Substack! Looking forward to reading more of your writing!
Wow, there is so much good stuff to comment on here. I work with a lot of (current and aspiring) entrepreneurs and the majority are Black, so I will definitely check out Cashing Out, thank you for the recommendation. This is just all around so good. I am glad you took the time off you needed and glad you are back. I also just recently settled on a more comfortable, letter-like format and it opened the creativity floodgates. Hope to see you in Write of Passage.